i want to bleed all over the sheets
of this notebook and the sheets on my bed
i want the blood to spill out of me in every direction
i want drops on the desk
smears on the floor
a little bit dried-up behind my ear
war-painted under my eyes
i want the blood to go everywhere
curl up in your nostril and belly-flop on your tongue
i want it to overwhelm you, everything
that runs through me, day in and out
i want you to see my femaleness without shame
i want you to reach back through my blood and pull out my ancestors
generations of women striking a path through the cold forest of earth
leaving trails of blood
life's blood
to cover the stench of death
i want you to look at my blood and see my tears
see my blood as the warning sign it is
the warning sign of everything this life promises me, by virtue of birth
how my blood will flow, naturally and unnaturally
how others dare to beckon it forth
stick themselves inside me without a thought
like their plaything
i want you to see my blood move
feel how it spurts and clings
looks over its shoulder,
hides itself,
gets flushed away
always on the run from an unspoken threat
i want you to dip your fingers in my blood
and rejoice in its presence
anoint yourself with it
because for seventeen days, i prayed for it to come
i prayed to the blood
the source of all life
to not create new life
to manifest itself in my body,
take its spiritual pilgrimage to freedom
i want to bleed
all over this page and all over this room
i want to bleed all over you
all over your twisted misconceptions
you think i'm in love with you, i can tell,
as if i could be in love with you
i couldn't even see your face, you know
underneath all the blood
it filled the entire room up
just like i always wanted
and i know i'm not "supposed to"
i know this is "dirty"
and "shameful"
and "weak" and "wrong" and "too much"
too in-your-face,
too emotional,
too personal,
too hysterical,
god,
why do i have to be such a cunt?
Submitted by Cate Root
About the author:
Cate Root is a sugar-tongued radical feminist word cunt, holding it down in 5th Ward New Orleans. She can be reached at nolariffic(at)gmail(dot)com.
